Valentine's Cliche

Previously published in the NJCU Gothic Times February 2008 issue.

Valentine's Cliche

By: Lyle Hickman

Issue date: 2/5/08 Section: Advice

Media Credit: www.google.com

As February 14th approaches, corporations are estimating how much they can capitalize off the populace on Valentine's Day. Such a day is a vital pillar of romance in the American cultural calendar, where cards and candies are given and the deepest, most intense acts of intimacy are performed in order to sustain this tradition. American society pressures its people to profess their affection and accompany it with trinkets, sweets, and everyone's favorite, red roses! As these crimson idols of affection are exchanged, people are supposedly fulfilled with love. I beg to differ.

This holiday could be a day for observing love and celebrating its sustenance, However, I now view it as a commercialized day of profit and not one of introspection, discourse, and love with the significant other.

Why should you spend money on roses on Valentine's Day? Why should you engage in sexual acts on Valentine's Day? These were my thoughts for years, as I spent eighteen consecutive Valentine's Days alone, without a valentine. I arrived at the answer which most of a pressured society shares, because everyone else does.

Can you imagine how much revenue is accumulated on a yearly basis from Valentine's Day? Can you fathom how many people have felt pressured to succumb to this day and engage in sexual acts or choose somebody as their valentine so they weren't lonely?

People sometimes fall into the trap of conformity on Valentine's Day, when their relationship is ambiguous, and the trinkets and intimacy are just there to fill the void or present proof of the presence of love in the relationship. I am no connoisseur on love, but I am its laborer. Something as abstract as love is genuinely felt by someone. Those in love are not skeptical. Like a moment of clarity, a person in love has a realization of love's existence in the relationship. Once in love, laborers of love work eternally, conjuring new ways to satisfy their significant other, beyond Valentine's Day.

The aim of love is to give and to please, and not just physically, but also emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Let this Valentine's Day be one in which time is spent understanding who your significant other is as a being and not one of blind indulgence.

As a person in a long distance relationship, my focus is developing chemistry through communication. More attention is directed toward discourse in which we tap into each other's mental reservoir. By becoming familiar with the innermost workings of my significant other's mind, I am able to be a better partner. Cognizant of my love of hip hop, my girlfriend gave me a hardcover notebook that she covered with graffiti which she designed. A box of chocolates or a red teddy bear with heart shaped candies would not have that same affect. Oh and guess what, she didn't wait until Valentine's Day to do this!

For those in relationships giving Valentine's Day too much relevance, here's how you can lessen it. Do not let a holiday dictate when and how you show love to another being, especially your significant other. Try something unorthodox. The reason why most of you are in relationships is because you love your partner's individuality. Waiting until Valentine's Day to do something extra for your partner is too predictable and lacking in creativity. Do not wait! Take your significant other to that kickboxing class that they have mentioned more than once or prepare a candle-lit bubble bath for them at an unexpected time. The results of these acts will definitely trump the results of just giving a cliche; bouquet of red roses.

If you make continuous, consistent efforts to convey your love to your significant other, this year, Valentine's Day will just be Thursday!